Wednesday, June 8, 2011
i had a promise that i kept_________in a box in the basement
i had intended to plant the flower seeds this morning, but it was all lost, this promise to myself when I remembered that I have an agenda for the day.
i wonder what it means to make art? i've been thinking about it very much lately as I dare to consider myself a maker of art, an artist. it is rare that i am impressed, but i have been impressed and when i am impressed it is clear that there is some worth to art.
then again, there is worth to ship building and oil drilling and shop keeping and grocery clerking, if not more so. But this is the garment under which I was raised:::I am not critical of it, rather, recognizing it and wondering if I will never be able to grasp the idea of art as functional and if i need to consider it functional if I continue to make it, or think I am making it. This thing called function---it is how I view everything. Ironically, some of my life gestures could be considered entirely impractical, however, they were out of pursuit of functionality and rationality. It is all much clearer now than it was before that this is the case---my relationships with people, my life pursuits----i honestly think it is a crutch...what does it feel like to live irrationally...
i think i'm afraid of it
i think i've never tried nor was ready
to face the actuality that functionality and rationality is a lens through which I view the world---that there are certain to be many lenses and what would it be like to view my life in a new lens--a less practical lens---a lens that for once listens to the voice within me that speaks so quietly but is often, if not ALWAYS correct.
i think this voice is getting louder--stronger---or rather, the other voices, the voices of lies and uncertainty which shout and clangor on into the night are being quieted and some disappearing all together. It is changing the very make up of my day, it is changing my interaction with people, my relationships, it is forcing me to look at myself through a new lens, it is recognizing the power of some of my pursuits.
it is because i have really grown this year...was forced by various scenarios to see myself lost and grappling to find stasis, watching as things fell apart----
b
b
b
bb
but instead of it all being this and that---it is more of a ((((((((( ))))))))))
i will be in MAINE in 3 days...flying into BANGOR
if you knew how excited this makes me to go north...
thinking about the future becomes exciting when possibilities exude within you and you now have the ability to mete it all out carefully.
au revoir!
K
i wonder what it means to make art? i've been thinking about it very much lately as I dare to consider myself a maker of art, an artist. it is rare that i am impressed, but i have been impressed and when i am impressed it is clear that there is some worth to art.
then again, there is worth to ship building and oil drilling and shop keeping and grocery clerking, if not more so. But this is the garment under which I was raised:::I am not critical of it, rather, recognizing it and wondering if I will never be able to grasp the idea of art as functional and if i need to consider it functional if I continue to make it, or think I am making it. This thing called function---it is how I view everything. Ironically, some of my life gestures could be considered entirely impractical, however, they were out of pursuit of functionality and rationality. It is all much clearer now than it was before that this is the case---my relationships with people, my life pursuits----i honestly think it is a crutch...what does it feel like to live irrationally...
i think i'm afraid of it
i think i've never tried nor was ready
to face the actuality that functionality and rationality is a lens through which I view the world---that there are certain to be many lenses and what would it be like to view my life in a new lens--a less practical lens---a lens that for once listens to the voice within me that speaks so quietly but is often, if not ALWAYS correct.
i think this voice is getting louder--stronger---or rather, the other voices, the voices of lies and uncertainty which shout and clangor on into the night are being quieted and some disappearing all together. It is changing the very make up of my day, it is changing my interaction with people, my relationships, it is forcing me to look at myself through a new lens, it is recognizing the power of some of my pursuits.
it is because i have really grown this year...was forced by various scenarios to see myself lost and grappling to find stasis, watching as things fell apart----
b
b
b
bb
but instead of it all being this and that---it is more of a ((((((((( ))))))))))
i will be in MAINE in 3 days...flying into BANGOR
if you knew how excited this makes me to go north...
thinking about the future becomes exciting when possibilities exude within you and you now have the ability to mete it all out carefully.
au revoir!
K
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